what yo’ name iz? clint mauro, irina shayk, marlon teixeira,
tamiris souza freitas, tomas skoloudik
shot by matthew scrives, the spring armani exchange hosts a number of models alongside AX favorite, clint mauro. represented by ford models, clint is joined by irina of IMG models, tamiris of one model management, marlon of wilhelmina models & tomas of DNA model management. the campaign is shot along the same lines of last season, as we see the model cast sprawled on a beach half-dress in AX pieces. clint mauro has gained major notoriety for his campaign work with the armani brand, its good to see them introduce other models to this seasons cast. the black & white image right above this text has been used for in store visuals & showcases love in all forms. man on man, man on woman, woman on woman- its all there & i love it. beauty & equality all in one showcase, what more could anyone ask for? applause the armani team for producing this concept.
I was just sitting here staring out this huge window…the sun blinding my vision when my thoughts wandered over to the subject.
love…
hmmm.
I believe love…is neither simple nor definable. I think that love is a feeling, a look, a moment that last longer than a single moment should. love is that breath upon your neck that makes you want to be alive just to experience it. that touch that makes you quiver before a single finger even presses down on your skin. that gloomy day that’s…suddenly bright when you look into their eyes. that short story that takes an hour to tell just because they like to listen to you speak…and listen they do…
because they feel it in their bones.
love….if true, is deep and mutually penetrating….and it shows.
love in it’s raw form will make you new, it will make you whole. and if you let it, it can inspire your soul.
love to me…exists in purity and simplicity. since I was a little girl I’ve been a hopeless romantic. now at 29 I still believe in fairytales. only I’ve stopped chasing love….now I think I’ll sit back enjoy the ride, and for once, let love…chase me.
Dear friends. Lot of people have fantastic sex experiance. But few are having the luck to see a lesbian action. Many people are explaining it from their imagination and sights. I am one gifted to see a perfect lesbian action for few days at the age of 12. The opportunity I got because of ny age. Ours is a big family and only on few occassions every body will assemble.
Normally it will be in the midsummer vacation and at that time it will be a real thrill in house. Always there will be full noice and men and women will be moving around. Lot of things used to happen and being I boy I was not clear about such things.Some of my elder brothers used to give some tips and I was unable to use it fully.
But I got enough opprtunity to mingle with elder ladies and hear some talks.The most attracted out of them were Preeja and Shreeja. Both of them studying in college and one is my aunt’s daughter and other my mom’s sister’s daughter. They were very thick friends and always moved together. They will be always tit catting and I didn’t understand their language.
Both liked me and used to give plesentries. So I too liked to be in their company. In that particular vacation both of them remained in my house even after all others left. their results were yet to come and they had to search new admission. My school started after vacation and I started going to class regularly.
Evening they used to ask me the topics I studied and kidded me for my answers. I felt ashamed but liked their presence. They used to sleep in the upstairs and I slept in a small room on the downstairs.One day unexpectedly a relative couple arrived and wanted to stay overnight. My mother asked the girls to spare the room for them for a day and they readily agreed.
That night they were adjusted in my room which is small. they agreed ti lie down and I was asked to occupy the coat as usual. My room had no attached toilet and I have to go out of the room for any need. My dad and mom were sleeping inthe main room. The guesta were talking for hours and the two sisters also engaged in the talk. By around 9pm I went to sleep and slept quickly.
At what time the girls came inside I don’t know. Some time in the night I heard some sound and woke up from sleep. The two were lieing together in the bed on the floor and they were talking in mild tone. Through the window glass panes light was coming inside and I was able to se them clearly. They had embraised and one was keeping her leg over the other.
Her pelvis was rubbing against other’s thigh. They were telling some thing and laughing. They were commenting about the couple and laughing. That lady was a well built one and had enough booty and boob. She had dressed well and many parts were seen out. her cleavage was very prominent through the wide neck blouse. on the back it was still horrible.
The width of the blouse wasjust sufficient to cover the bra strap. She had tucked her saree so low and the navel and surroundings were very clearly seen. When she walks the booty danced and it was nice to watch. One girl asked other whether it is too much for the age. Other said really. How he is managig her. He is so frill and lean. She will handle him now.
Poor man, what can he do on her. Why are you worried about him. We don’t know how capable he is. Some skeleton fellows are dangerous I heard. Fellows with thin waist will have long dong. Have you seen. l have not seen. But I have heard. You like big or small. My god I can’t accept long. It will pierce my cunt.If you get one like that what you will do. Some how to bear with that.
What they will be doing now. Go and see. Have you seen fucking. Don’t ask such questions. Don’t be so innocent.You are are going to have it soon. I will see then. Let me see now. What these girls are doing and talking I could not digest fully. They were laughing at the guest, then talking about the dick and cunt.
They weredoubting about the action of the couples and they were laughing and hugging. Any way I decided to keep awake and note their actions.One was rubbibg her thigh over other and by that her pelvis also rubbing on thigh. Slowly the hugging got tightening and one was complining about the tight. Both of them were in night gown and it started to move from legs.
Shall we go up and see what she is doing now. Please come. Don’t make a seen. Lie here. They might have locked the door. You can only hear the sound. It will be puck,pluck. It is so wide from the look.l wanted to see what is he doing now. he will be doing this, she kissed her friend on the lip and released with a sound. She said nice once more.
She showed her mouth and other kissed still forcefully. This time the sound was more and other said take care, uncle and aunt will wake up. They will be in full form nothing to worry. they will not know if a bomb is bursted. You mean they still do. Why not. They are strong. What these girls are talking about my father and mother. What doing they are meaning.
I don’t know. One slowly got over the other and started kissing her from top and other from bottom pressed the booty of the top.She slowly started to lift the gown of the top one. Top opened the gown neck buttons of the bottom and inserted her hand inside and pressed others boobs.
She was continuing it on both the boobs and the bottom lifted the gown of the top to the booty. Now I could see the lingerie of her.Now the pressing was directly on the booty. Kissing was going on at times and the sound of release reduced now. Top one now moved from the bottom and removed her gown.Now she is having only one ligerie and bra.
She removed her friend’s gown also and both became ready for a show. their structure, size, colour and other aspects were more or less similar.My heart beat increased and wanted to know what is going to happen.Shreeja asked whether I am asleep. Preeja told he has reached midnight.
I smiled and waited for the next action. Both of them sat on the bed and hugged and they engaged in a serpentine hug. Both were pressing other’s booty,boobs,back,belly and pelvis and murmuring.I staireed at them and wanted see the unseen so far.I have seen boobs of mature ladies many times. But this is not like that.
Both are in figting mood and one removed the bra of other and chewed her nipples one after other. She was pressing her breast more to other’s mouth and asked to take it full in mouth. It happened. She took one full breast in mouth and made a funny nasal sound. Now one was sitting on other’s lap with widely spread. by the time she took other breast in mouth her bra was removed.
Now they have only one ligerie on the waist.I wanted to se that clearly. One was rubbing her belly on other’s pelvis and slowly she stood up in that position and brought her hip near other’s mouth. her ligeie was pulled down and unfortunately she was standing with her booty towards me.
I tried my level best to peep but nothing is seen. She was pressing her pelvis on other’s mouth and her action I could see. other one pressed on her booty with two hands and made the same kissing sound in her mouth. She was kissing in her cunt. She asked to bite on it and put the tongue inside. She roared and pressed her head to her pussy and gave hevy jerks and screamed.
I got puzzled and looked at her. she stood like thad and sheaverd for a while and released her grip.Now she turned and I was very close to her pelvis. I saw her bush and the slit. There was a small projection from the slit and I understood it as the clit after so many years. She spend no time and asked other to lie and kept her legs spread.
The feet was resting on the bed and she sat in between her legs. She lowered her head to her pussy and first licked like a dog. Now I could see from top the clear work on the pussy. My dick developed a jerk.my dick is small and semen was not formed at that time. I have mastrubated hering friends version but it will give only a jerk and stop.
For a few seconds a different sence will be there. After that slight pain will be there and if shaking is given hard burning sensation will start.Now preeja is down and shreeja is licking her cunt. Preeja is a bit fatter than Shreeja and her bush is thicker than other.I was unable to see the projecting thing. Now with two fingers she spread her lips and I saw a small thing inside.
She pressed others to that she licked it several times. At the time of fast licking the sound was exactly similar to dog drinking water. She just pressed her mouth to it and sucked the part and I saw the small piece in her mouth. She kept it between lips and did some thing. Preeja started moaning.She lifted her hips and gave more access to suck.
Shreeja lifted her booty with two hands and pressed her head and inserted her tongue inside the kitty. Her full tongue disappeared and Preeja requeted to keep it like that. She shook her buts and in quick succesion and settled on bed. Shreeja glide over Preeja and lied on her body in hugged position.
My dick jumped several times and I put my hand inside the brief. I gave shake and with in no time the orgasm developed. I was terribly feeling sleepy and slept. I don’t know how far I slept. Mother was calling from outside as it was already morning. All of us hurriedly woke up and proceeded for the jobs. Mother asked me why you are so late to wake up.
They are free and can take rest. You have to go school. I did’t say any thing. I was going on thinking yesterday’s scene. The two are taking tea as if nothing is happened and I was ashamed to look at them. I have seen every thing and they are pretending like pure, perfect girls. I got ready fast to attend school. The whole day I was unable to concentrate any thing in class.
I felt asleep also in the class and my teacher scolded me. The scenes were coming like a film in me. Some how I finished the class and as soon as reached home slept for some time. I told my mother not to distrube me as I am feeling very sleepy. I woke up from sleep and washed to become fresh. The twins were laundering there.
They may be planning for tonight and I didn’t know what will be the action. My mother invited the guests to stay for one more day. they hesitated first due to some reasons but after mother’s compeltion they agreed to extend the stay for one more day. Twins came to know about this and decided to peep inside their room in the night.
They were chit chatting in mild tones and planned some thing. I knew that from there talk and they never suspected me since they were not knowing my hearing their talk on the previous day. That Seeja is very smart and she went inside the top room and made the latch locked and kept the key in safe custody. So the top room door was not fully closable and she came out.
That night also mother father and guests were talking so many things. At my time I went to sleep. After some time the twins returned to my room and lied on the bed. I was waiting for their arrival and pretented in deep sleep. Shreeja told Preeja about her plan to see the show of the guests. She said she is going up and occcupy the room under the coat and come afterwards.
I will explain the things and we will sleep.She went up like a cat and no sound was heard afterwords. The forum dispersed and every body went to their rooms. I was anxiously waiting for the top girl to come down and hear the news. I looked at Preeja and she was rolling on the bed and pressing on her boobs and thighs. She was restless and often lifted her head and looked at me.
I kept quite and pretented sleep. After some time she lifted her gown and put her hand inside the lingerie. Then I opened my eyes half and closely watched her action. She slowly pulled down the undie and threw to one side. Now I was able to see her private part. She rubbed over it and pulled the pubic hair.
This continued for some time and then inserted one finger in the cunt and moved to and fro. According to the action she was jerking her hip and making some sound. The speed slowly increased and finally pressed the hand fully on the pussy and kept like that. She shook her hip in jerks and made a long mourn and lied like that.
Still the pose was like that only and I was able to see her free booty and thighs. My dick got disturbed and hardened. I was afraid to shake since Preeja is awaken. If she happen to look and see me shaking the dick every thing will break. I kept both hands on my dick over the trusers and lied facing the wall. It was slightly throbbing. I lied like that and it was not settling.
I just turned my head in that position and watched what she was doing. She was about wake up and I kept my earlier position. I could hear the noice of her steps and she walked out of the room slowly and went to the stair case side. After two minutes she arrived and came near my bed and sat on the tip. She closely looked at my face and made sure that I am sleeping.
I could feel her deep breath sound and I was puzzled. Still I kept cool and didn’t move at all.She is my aunt’s daughter and I wondered what is she going to do. She gave a nice kiss on my cheak and again watched me for my reation. As she found no reaction she slowly placed her hand on my thighs and moved the hands inside the trusers. It slowly poked inside and reached the brief.
in all these embarassing situation my dick which was in erected condition had shrunk. Her fingers were searching for it and one finger intered the brief and touched the dick. With one finger she was rubbing on the cock and a few strokes made it to move.I didn’t move at all and waited for the rest. She got confidence and decided to go further since I am fast asleep.
My dick was pulled out of the brief and she started shaking it nicely and smoothly. It slowly came to almost full erection. It is not a matured cock and skin retraction was impossible. She was making attempts to withdraw the skin and it gave me irritation. gave a hit on her hand as in sleep and she stopped it. She was checking the hole at tip for any wetness but semen is not formed fully.
She wanted to know whether I attained an orgasm. She wanted to do some thing before that I presumed. Yes, what I presumed is correct. She made me to lie straight on back and kept her pussy over my face by standing on her knees and brought her face to my dick. She spread well and brought her crack to my face and took my dick in her mouth.
She sucked fully from the balls to the tip and that made me alighted.The softnes of her mouth and warmth and the saliva made the dick to throb and she pressed her slit to my mouth. Unknowlingly my mouth opened and the entire bush and lip was in mouth. She pressed and sucked.She was shevering and mourning and her action speeded up.
I develoed my ususal orgasm while mastrubating and much nicely and she was still continuing her action. It took few more minutes and she gave her final press to allow a sticky fluid to pass my mouth.I was feeling restless and uncomfortable and some how she didn’t prolong that position. She went to bed and lied on her front as if nothing is happened.
Shreeja entered the room after some time and lied near friend.First thing was her kissing on friend’s face and telling in mild tone her sight in the aunt’s room. That slim man is not as we think, he has very good stamina and made her to cry. She is only posing and pretends in front of others.
I winessed today the real thing and they had two shots today. first one was on the bed and I could not see it fully. They were talking in sizziling language and I thought she will press him to death. I just kept quite under the coat and when the rhythm got faster and hardened I just peeped up. They were in full form and never suspected any third person there.
That lady was at bottom and he was standing on his knee between her thighs and the legs were on his shoulder. His pumping was super with full force and speed.Every stroke it was making splashing nioce he pressed her boobs throughly. She was screeming for each stroke and requestiong him to reduce the pressure.
He scolded in foul language and incresed the speed like a piston in engine. She lost control and said her mouth is getting dry and the hands fell on the bed. Luckily he attained orgasm and lied on her. My cunt was bursting with lust but what to do. It was like this she said and stood on her knee and rubbed her cunt to preeja’s cunt by keeping her legs on the shoulder.
The kissing and rubbing was going on in full swing and I saw the action fully from my bed.Shreeja asked preeja to press her but hard and rub the pussies.After few minutes they became one by entangling all parts. I don’t know how long they lied like that. After some time again I heard them talking about the same.Preeja was asking friend how was the second shot.
Shw was in a hurry to hear that since she got hot by the fingering of pussy by friend. The second shot was on the floor in a standing pose. That bulky stuff was a bit reluctent to have it but her husband took her by force. She was telling about tiredness but he wanted to have one more. Shreeja took care very much to hide her from them.
Since the light was dim and her presence is not expected they took it casually. She said they had alredy had some action on bed. She heard some funny sound od sucking, kissing, slapping and all. Then both of them came to floor and the man sat on the chair there and she sat on his lap.Shreeja thought his thigh bone will break but nothing happened.
She was sitting spread and she could see her pussy well. It was very bushy and the slit was not clear. In that position he fingered her and his finger went up and down in the slit.Then the length was understood and with two finger he opened up it several times. His other hand was pressing the boobs and it was as big as coconut.
Its black circle and nipple were not seen very clearly, but it is also good in size. He was kissing on her neck and pils by turning her face. She slowly strted gasping and mildly mourning. At that time he asked her to stand and made her to stand with the hands on the chair. From back he pressed her head closed to the chair seat and placed the legs sufficiently spread.
He sat behind her and inserted two fingers in her cunt and pocked. It started to make slushy sound. Then he stood on his foot and She saw his hardened dick.It is not less than six to seven inches in leghth and dark in colour. He inserted the tip first in the slit and gave a swivelling motion. Then she heard sound as if a stone is put in the slushy soil.
She screemed and he ploughed like a dog.He was holding on her pelvis and for every shot his pelvis hit on her buts. with one hand he slapped on her but and asked to push hard. her movement was slow and finally he made some peculiar sounds and pulled out his dick and sprayed his cum on her but.
Preeja fell on her friend and presssed her cunt in her mouth and started sucking Shreejas cunt. Both were sucking partners cunts. I came to know after words about theis pose as 69. They simply forgot every thing. They even forgot that I am sleeping on the nearby coat. It was terrible action like snakes copulating.
Lot of hissing, sucking, pressing,licking,biting,slappig and scolding happened during the process and finally separated and embased. I had one orgasm by smearing on my dick and slept. Next day the guests left to their place and while bidding farewell the two chicks were smiling in a special style.
Sheeja said in a sarcastic style whether aunty enjoyed the stay there. She nodded her head and again Shreeja asked her to take care of her health. I lost the opportunity of being with them afterwords and satisfied with mastrubation.Preeja at least got the sence of an immature dick and she kept it as top secret.
After growing up and understanding things I feel I lost all chances. I had golden opportunity to enjoy but unfortunately the condition was unfavourable. But I am satisfied as many can’t get this opportunity to see and enjoy the teen lesbian show live. (Humandigest, 2010)
Badlands in the Castro is the Bay’s perennial dancing hotspot. If cheap drinks and a decent dance floor are what you’re looking for you then Badlands is the place you want to go, on pretty much any given night of the week. Also: 2 for 1 drinks!
The club promotes itself as a “Video Dance Club” which apparently is there way of saying: We have TVs everywhere that show the music videos of the songs we’re playing! Which also guarantees two things: 1. You will see Lady GaGa in a body suit at some point during the night and 2. They mostly play typical top 100 fare. Which isn’t to say the music’s bad (well sometimes they do go on an 80’s trip which results in the dance floor clearing out pretty rapidly) but it isn’t spectacular either. However did I mention 2 for 1 drinks?
The crowd is pretty diverse, which is nice. Given the sort of Neapolitan nature of the gay community, sometimes its rare to find a place where all different flavors can congregate and not tear each others weaves out. People run the gamut from twinks to bears to drag queens. There’s even a few straight people, which I’ll choose to overlook. Also: two for one drinks.
All-in-all Badlands isn’t exotic and it’s really nothing special but they are pretty good at what they do and it does seem to be the one bar in the Castro that you can rely on to not be deserted, which is a perk. Oh and their bartenders are all rather attractive and have a propensity to wear tank tops or no shirts at all. Which is nice cause you’ll be seeing a lot of them if you want to take advantage of the two for one drinks…
Change is a way of life. In this day and ag and in this economic climate you have be able to change, sometimes at a moment’s notice. Most people hate change, they fear change, they go to great lengths to avoid or resist change. The key to accepting, and eventually embracing change, is realizing that change is always a bad thing. Often times, change can present new opportunities or improvements in how you thought or did things before. I have it said that the only real constant in the universe is change. You have to be flexible, you have to be able to roll with the punches, you have to be mentally and emotionally prepared for the reality that almost nothing ever stays the same. Healthy organizations, healthy relationships, and healthy people all grow. Growth means development. Growth mean evolving. Growth means change. So if you find yourself getting panic-stricken or overly invested in something that is changing in your life. Stop, take a breath, and don’t focus on what’s going away. Try and see the growth and the new opportunity that might be presenting itself as well.
i watched avatar today in 3d, and all i can say is: michelle rodriguez. welcome back, girl. we missed you.
also, i found the most amazing thing on the internet: it’s a rendition of famous rap songs in 8-bit. it’s hilarious and strangely addictive. also addictive: la rumba della saraghina by nino rota, from 8 1/2. how can a 2 minute song with no words and bad quality be so ridiculously stuck in my head for like a week straight now.
For those of you who don’t know me, which should be the majority of you, my name is Olivia. I am 22 years old, and I am currently studying abroad Queensland, Australia. I’ll be here until the end of April and then I will come back to the USA for two weeks, and then I will be traveling all through Europe until the end of August. I have a blog, a real blog, which documents my trips and talks about my experiences as a regular person. However, because everybody is linked to that blog, I can’t necessarily write what I really think. So, I created Olivia, and my secretales to do all the talking for me.
I’ve been in Australia for two weeks now, and so far I don’t like it. I’m trying to keep an open mind, but it’s tough because I don’t like most of the people I’ve met. I have yet to meet anyone that is interested in the arts, or good conversation, and most importantly someone that is a lesbian. I met a nice gay guy at CBD, a bar at a hotel that is within walking distance. However, he seemed like his main concern was to party and to hook up with other attractive tan gay men, which is fine by me, but not what I am looking for in a friend.
I have a few people I do like. One’s name is Stacey (goes to school with me), the other is Taylor (she goes to school in the Midwest) and Stacey’s friend Kat (who went to HS with Stacey). They are all nice, and straight, but are ok with gay people. The people I don’t like, Meredith (she’s from the Midwest and chose to go to college in her hometown, she doesn’t have any concept of open-mindedness and is very conservative. She’s judgmental, which makes no sense to me because she is ugly and short. I, at first, didn’t mind her, but then realized she didn’t like me and noticed her snarly remarks towards me and had changed my positioning on her. The group I’ve been hanging out with likes Meredith, which makes so sense to me, but I think in part it has to do with the group think, following attitude everybody has). Theresa (she’s from the midatlantic and goes to school in the Midwest. She belongs to a non-drinking sorority and her sorority consumes her life. It’s basically like being part of a convent. Except, she has a boyfriend that she plans on marrying. She’s also unattractive and will make snarly comments too. But, she’s not intolerable. I like her as a person to talk to on occasion, but she is not someone I would typically want to be friends with). My roommate (It’s not that I don’t like her, but she’s not exactly someone I would normally be friends with. Because she’s overweight, more overweight than I am, I’ve come to realize how disgusting it really is to be fat and have made more of a conscious effort to workout while I am here. I guess, for that, she is a good roommate to have because she motivates me to be better, just by existing with her small town, fat self). The rest of the people I’ve been hanging out with I neither love nor dislike and thus they remain unnamed. They’re meaningless. They’re followers and have absolutely nothing interesting to say, which is good and bad. Good because you can just start talking small talk to them and they think that makes a nice friendship, bad because it makes them terribly boring and not worth my time.
Well, Thursday, January 14th I met a guy on the bus to the club. Our school is obsessed with going to clubs, so during orientation week they had a bus to a club almost every night. His name is Ben. I’m not really sure how he got on the bus because he’s 30 and not a student. He thought he was going to be a student, but his work told him that he didn’t need to get a degree in management because he already is a manager and is doing a fine job. He’s a physical therapist and lives right around the corner from the school I go to. I didn’t really know he was interested in me until we got to the club. I noticed that on the bus he was talking to me, but all Australians are pretty friendly, so I just assumed we were having friendly conversation. Then, when I got into the club, I kind of parted ways and I ran back into him about 10 minutes later. He immediately started talking to me and next thing you know we are sitting down and he asked if I wanted a drink. I said sure, because I don’t like to let such generous offers pass me by, and next thing you know I’m drinking a couple of drinks with him and his friend. Well, we start to dance and I notice that he’s really hard and it turned me on a bit. So we continued to dance all night. Some of my friends think I’m straight here, but they haven’t asked so I haven’t had to tell them anything other than what ahs been going on here. Ben and I ended up dancing all night and he even kissed me and we also made out at the club. His kissing style was good, but weird. He only kissed with his lips, no tongue at all. I’m the type that will do mostly lips but I like some tongue in there too. They weren’t bad kisses for a guy, but there is nothing better than kissing a woman in my opinion. I especially like kissing the girl I had been dating back at home, Sara. She’s a good kisser, and I think that’s because everything about our styles and our mouths/bodies fit together – she’s also ok with play kissing. Play kissing is when you kiss just wildly for fun, rubbing tongue against teeth and teeth against lips and all sorts of nonsensical things you can only get away with when you’ve been with someone for a while. The other weird thing is that he came off as a bit gay. He lives in a house full of guys that are all physical therapists. While Ben and I were dancing his friend kept poking him with a glow stick and I just thought it was the weirdest thing. Ben is an attractive guy, he’s muscular, has blue eyes and an angled face, he’s tall and is just stereotypically a nice looking guy. He is also extremely nice, not once did he insinuate that he wanted me to sleepover or anything like that, which is a sharp contrast from what I’ve experienced with guys in the US. After we were done grinding on each other at the club, he asked if I wanted to catch a cab back to campus with him and his friend. I said sure and on our way out we stopped at another bar. This bar seemed to have a lot of guys dancing with each other so I asked Ben, “Is this a gay bar?” And he said, “I’m not gay.” Which I thought was a weird response, and I quickly said, “Oh I know you’re not but this place seems a little gay. Which is fine by me, I love gay people.” Little does he know how much I really do love gay people, but I figure why ruin something that could potentially be an interesting ride… or at the very least an interesting story. Well, I got in a cab back with them and we spent some time talking on the porch and when he walked me home we ended up making out and dry humping and it was all a lot of fun. While we were doing it, I tried forgetting about Sara, but in the back of my mind I kept thinking of her. I also had debated suggesting we do more, but I didn’t really feel like it and decided to keep this a relatively PG experience. He walked me back to my dorm and gave me a kiss goodnight. As I walked back to my room I kept thinking how weird it was to have experienced this with a guy. It made me uncomfortable thinking about how OK I was with it. I think part of the reason I felt so weird about it was because I miss Sara so much.
Two nights after that experience, I called him on my way home from a friend’s place and asked if he wanted to hang out. I was feeling a little horny and was hoping we’d do something fun when I came over. But because he is so nice, and I think afraid of making me uncomfortable, all we did was sit on his porch and talk. He also showed me the Southern Cross, which is in the sky and can only be seen if you’re in the Southern Hemisphere. I didn’t think it was going to be such a simple thing, but it still was cool. So we didn’t end up doing anything that night. Since then I have talked to him via text and yesterday he asked me if I wanted to go to get lunch with him. I couldn’t go because I was going to a pub-crawl in two hours, and it just wouldn’t have given me enough time. I think he likes me, and I want to like him, but I’m not really sure if I will or can. I’m not going to cut ties just yet, because it’s still too soon to tell.
I wish there was a girl here I could like. Even if they didn’t like me back, and only wanted to be my friend, I’d love to have a real companion: someone who understands what I am saying when I say it and has the same appreciation for similar things as I do. I went to a gay bar and I didn’t see anyone that seemed interested in me. I’m going to go again, by myself, so I don’t have girls next to me who might insinuate a connection that doesn’t really exist.
I’ve been at the library now for 2 hours and haven’t really gotten any work done. I’m tired after the pub-crawl. Tonight I am keeping it low key. I should go update my “real” blog now.
The Prop 8 trial continues apace. Yesterday afternoon was particularly interesting. From Courage Campaigns trial tracker:
For example, one letter indicated that the LDS church had identified a volunteer for the campaign in every single zip code. This was a church document that was in the hands of a Prop 8 campaign official, and thus was discoverable. Andy Pugno, the general council for ProtectMarriage.com tried his darnedest to get Judge Walker to exclude it, but failed. From Rick’s liveblog:
Pugno: Objects because document will be revealing.
Judge: Not to make light of this, but the reason people want to produce documents is that they are revealing.
Boutrous: It’s from an outsider to the core group. We are attempting to show the level of coordination with groups that Protect Marriage says were not even affiliated with the campaign.
This is perhaps the most explosive bit of all, from a document between the LDS Church and the campaign:
With respect to Prop. 8 campaign, key talking points will come from campaign, but cautious, strategic, not to take the lead so as to provide plausible deniability or respectable distance so as not to show that church is directly involved.
A word to the wise: if you’re actually interesting in maintaining plausible deniability don’t explicitly mention the desire to do so in your e-mails regarding how to keep plausible deniability. This also brings up an interesting point: while the trial is primarily concerned with the constitutionality of Proposition 8 there are a -lot- of peripheral issues at stake here. For example… So what happens to the LDS church’s 501(c)3 status when it’s revealed before the SCOTUS that they provided substantial support towards a legislative cause?
A “Global LGBT Event,” Equality Forum is scheduled for April 26 to May 2, 2010 in the incredibly gay- and lesbian-friendly city of Philadelphia, Penn. Each year it seems that the Equality Forum gets better and better. With everything from black-tie dinners to raucous street parties to solemn vigils and much more, for a week, gays and lesbians from the world over celebrate queer culture in all its complex, rich diversity.
Each year a different country or region is highlighted and becomes the focus of additional discussion and celebration. This year Equality Forum showcases the struggle for LGBT rights in Africa.
It is about dating, and it is about coupling. It is about finding the mate, the partner that will accept me. My usual dry, objective writing is taking a backseat to some introspection at this crossroads.
Lately there has been some struggle in me – as a woman. I am, by design, or choice – or both, attracted only to women. The challenge, the new one, is that I definitively used to be a male.
I used to think of women from that male perspective, now it is different. Because of the hormones, of a change in character, I relate to them more while wanting intimacy that is in a different physical way.
I visited Sexual Orientation early on, mostly as an excercise and exploration of how gender is so different from sexual attraction. I knew who I was – and I knew who I was attracted to.
What am I to others?
What have I become to others? I have long crossed the line, yet I am not a real woman (and, with surgery I could fool even my doctor) and I never will be. I attended the birth of my son, cut the umbilical cord and held him those first few seconds – and I can never carry a child; to be the God woman that presents others with a new life.
But this is not about the shortcomings that I have as a woman, being a woman. My own mother could not have a child; was she less of a woman than any other? The child I gave up went to a family where the woman could have no children.
This is about me finding my place in a world that is binary, where heterosexual women fall in love with boys who do not have breasts and lesbians fall in love with women who do not have penises. Is that all there is? I have no problem attracting men, much to my own pain. I pass.
Who I am was so easily explained when I had short hair. All my earings were seen as artistic or as character. I would quickly disclose on a first date, a first drive together that I was Transgender. I went through the transition phase where I attracted attention as people tried to figure me out. Now, I walk through the store or down the street, and there is no attention drawn. I am lost in the crowd, with my secret being hidden – I get to still pee while standing. The surgery to correct this would buy a Ballard 30; such are the choices in life.
I understand most M2F TG’s go through this time where they try to figure out who and how to attract intimate partners. Their goal is defined as being passable enough that a man will be attracted to them. Well, I know a secret, because I was a man – there are always men who will be attracted to women, it is in their genes – it is hormone driven. So, I guess my goal must be to be attractive to lesbians. I am attracted to femmes who have strength.
Who am I as this new woman? I am outdoorsy, intelligent and mechanical, much in the way I was as a male – I did not rewire my past. I am also cuddly (I ‘contact’ sleep – something always seems to reach out and make contact). I cook well and like to cook, like my father did. The feminine in me has come forward as the tomboy I have always been. I never saw myself as a feminine male (I was not), but I had this mechanical boy side that fit with me as a woman.
And I fit neither what a heterosexual or homosexual would consider as the ideal partner when looking at the genitalia…
Somehow I missed the disaster in Haiti until right now. Unfortunately today was also the day that a lot of political commentators got a hold of it and did what they do best: take an awful human tragedy and twist into something even worse.
We have this quote from Rush Limbaugh:
I could sit here and be really cynical. I’ll hold off on the cynicism for a couple hours, I’ll hold off on it. I’m going to hold off on it, give the show’s flow a chance to establish, ’cause it’s going to be the Media Tweak of the Day.
….Yes, I think in the Haiti earthquake, ladies and gentlemen — in the words of Rahm Emanuel — we have another crisis simply too good to waste. This will play right into Obama’s hands. He’s humanitarian, compassionate. They’ll use this to burnish their, shall we say, “credibility” with the black community — in the both light-skinned and dark-skinned black community in this country. It’s made-to-order for them. That’s why he couldn’t wait to get out there, could not wait to get out there.
And then there’s this little gem from Pat Robertson:
And, you know, Kristi, something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon III and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, “We will serve you if you will get us free from the French.” True story. And so, the devil said, “OK, it’s a deal.”
And they kicked the French out. You know, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free. But ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after the other. Desperately poor. That island of Hispaniola is one island. It’s cut down the middle. On the one side is Haiti; on the other side is the Dominican Republic. Dominican Republic is prosperous, healthy, full of resorts, et cetera. Haiti is in desperate poverty. Same island. They need to have and we need to pray for them a great turning to God. And out of this tragedy, I’m optimistic something good may come. But right now, we’re helping the suffering people, and the suffering is unimaginable.
So from two of the biggest conservative blowhards we have that the earthquake in Haiti, which practically demolished everything, is both a political boon for Obama (with African-Americans specifically mind you, us non-black people couldn’t possibly think highly of someone for rushing to the rescue of a country that has had some of the worst luck ever and just as they start getting on their feet have the freaking EARTH ripped out from under them) and that it is God’s punishment for some pact the Haitians made with the Devil to drive out Napoleon. Which of course is factually inaccurate in so many ways that it may just be a fantasy Robertson cooked up in his mind.
These statements are so outrageous that I just can’t find the words. So I’ll let Jon Stewart do it for me (you’ll have to go that link because apparently WordPress and Comedy Central don’t like each other…)
As a culture/society/species, we have labeled lesbians by so much more than just their sexual orientation. At first it was just creating different names for the word “lesbian”. Dyke, lesbo, rug muncher, carpet eater, pussy licker, pillow princess, etc. Some derogatory, most just humorous. What gets me going is the hypocrisy within the community. We are supposed to be united to fight the bigotry and the hate from the “hetero world”. Though lately it seems that the straight folks have been coming to our aid more so than our fellow dykes. I think we put too much thought into what other people think. So much so, that all that’s left is anger redirected at each other.
Let’s face facts. I’ll be the one to say it out loud. And be proud of it (at least to a certain extent). We have done nothing to make the stereotypes untrue. In fact, we have been pushing them to be more true than they ever have been. I’ll list some of them for all to see. Correct me or stop me at any time if any of this is incorrect.
1. Q: What does a lesbian bring on the second date? (Original version)
A: A U-Haul
This is so very true! The lesbian urge to merge is more powerful than the battery powered devices we’ve been chipping our teeth on. In the beginning it’s always amazing. It’s always passionate. It’s always “the best we’ve ever had”. And that goes for all aspects of the relationship: sex, emotional connections, compatibility.
How to change this for the better: Instead of keeping those blinders on only to take them off when they’ve pissed you off just enough or, even worse, when something younger, hotter, better slinks it’s way in front of your face… Why don’t we keep track of what it is EXACTLY that makes us so attracted to that person. If you can dig deep down and allow yourself to take the time to find out what that “something” is, I can almost guarantee a successful relationship. Do whatever it is necessary to keep that passion going. It’s not always going to be effortless. Relationships take work. A lot of work. But only if it’s truly worth investing that much into it.
2. Q: What does a lesbian bring on the second date? (Newer version)
A: A turkey baster
There is no greater feeling in this or any world than being a woman when you’re biological clock starts to tick. Many people, mostly men, make fun of this. I don’t see why. Maybe it’s jealousy. As women, we are capable of creating, housing, and bringing another life into this world. God could not give a more magnificent gift. Now take this and multiply it by two. Granted, more often than not only one of us (typically us femmes)are the ones who are willing to actually volunteer the act of conception. That’s not to say that our beloved dyke girlfriends/partners/hifeys aren’t as excited to be a part of this process.
How to change this for the better: Truly and honestly take the time to think this out. There are so many specific details that must be talked about and considered. This isn’t like taking out a loan to buy that RV ya’ll want to travel the country and make love at every romantic setting you can find. This is a human life. This is creating a family. Is your partner the person you want to parent a child with? This is the dangerous “f” word we throw out all too freely. Forever. Once you’re a parent, a mother, that’s a commitment for the rest of your life. So I implore you ladies to hit up your local book store, grab your partner and a latte and read EVERY book that has been written about being a gay parent. And please, PLEASE, don’t listen to your mother on her crazy rants when she’s talking about getting drunk at a bar and picking up a guy just so you can use him for his sperm! (I speak from personal experience, my mother wants grandchildren so bad she was actually serious when she mentioned this hair-brained idea to me.) If we ever want men to take us seriously and believe us when we say we are not interested in their lower anatomy and that we mean it when we say they’re full of shit when they say “You just haven’t met the right guy yet”, then we can’t take advantage of them the way they (not all of them) take advantage of us. There are good guys in the world. And those are the ones you want to be your donors.
3. The Lesbian Bed Death.
I don’t even know where to start with this one. I guess I have to revert back to when I was talking about that immediate connection and all the passion that comes with it. I believe the passion disappears when the blinders have come off. Which is why it’s so important to pay attention to everything that draws you to your partner.
How to change this for the better: Get creative!! You’ve already come out of the closet. Why not come outside of that box you think has comforted you for so long. Grab your lady and hit up your local sex shop. They make wonderful toys for us lezzies! They even make devices that allow for simultaneous stimulation. For me at least, there’s nothing that gets me off harder than hearing the sounds of my gorgeous woman while she pleases me. And if she were to achieve an orgasm at the same time as me… I might just be sent to the moon and the stars! So seriously, explore your fantasies and TALK! Lord knows nothing will kill a relationship faster than a lack of communication.
4. When a femme meets a butch (and vice verse)…
Being a lipstick lesbian ultra femme, I can tell you right now that nothing blows my skirt up more than a hot butch dyke. And from my experience the feeling is mutual in the reverse for butchies. Many people, mostly straight, and mostly my parents seem to think that if a femme woman only seeks out butch lesbians that ultimately means all we really want is a man. And you know something? They aren’t that far off kilter. Now I’m not saying I would want to be with a man, however, what I look for in a partner is emotional security and strength. Two qualities many men tend to possess. What keeps me from jumping teams is what’s underneath my partners boxer briefs. I love pussy… because I’m GAY!
How to change this for the better: It’s not necessarily a change so much as it is an exploration of your true sexual orientation. You are born gay. I don’t need to tell you this. If you feel that you weren’t born gay, then you’re not gay. It’s just that simple. I don’t believe in bisexuals… that’s my opinion. Not one bisexual I have met can honestly tell me they are EQUALLY and I mean completely down the middle when it comes to which sex they are more attracted to. If you’re a femme like me and you’re looking for a hot butch, ask yourself this question: Are you ready to return the favor? Granted, there are plenty of butch ladies who are strictly tops. More power to them. I, however, cannot be with a woman who won’t let me touch her. Please her the way she pleases me. If you land yourself a dyke and you’re in bed with her (which is bound to happen not 3 hours after meeting her and taking tee meeny tequilllla shots) are you willing to go down on her? Or at the very least, use your hands? If you’re even the least bit grossed out by that thought, you’re not gay. Go out and find ya a good man! Don’t become what I lovingly refer to as a “party lesbian”. It is incredibly frustrating to buy a woman drink after drink thinking you’re getting somewhere only to find out she’s really straight and just wanted to make out with you for four hours to get back at her asshole of a boyfriend.
These are only a few points I have thought of for now. I’m sure I’ll think of more later… in which case I will add to the list. I hope I have brought a little insight and possibly a more open mind to some of you. If not, oh well. Guess this wasn’t intended for you to read. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must attend to my hidden lesbian agenda! lol
UGH, I’ve been absolutely horrible at updating this blog.. Things have been happening WAY fast..
Here’s a brief synopsis of what’s been going on, so I can tell all of you more later….
I’m physically, mentally and emotionally drained.. There’s a million things going on.. A million things to do.. & a million things I want to do. I bit the bullet Tuesday, and went to visit my cousin. We’ll call her ‘Fresh’.
Fresh and I have always had our ups and downs. Times where we are inseparable and communicate nonstop. Other times, we hardly speak for weeks to months. Well, we’ve been going through our time when we haven’t spoken in a month (since after Thanksgiving to be exact) and I decided it was time to reach out to her. I took her a belated Christmas gift. I sat and talked with her for about two hours, and it was as if nothing had changed..
I scored tickets to the basketball game and decided to invite my friends ‘Monster’ and ‘RoomA’. We had a cool time, nice way to chat and catch up…. Even though I’ll probably being seeing RoomA on my visit back to campus this weekend..
Lately, I’ve missed Storm.. Why?.. Dear goodness, I don’t know. I’ve thought that maybe because she was ALWAYS available and I’ve been oddly lonely recently.. or maybe because I am bored and miss my chances to escape to her city for the weekend…… I’m not sure – But I’m still beyond grateful that we’ve both moved on…
Judge Vaughn Walker. Photo from Google Images (wsj.com).
“If the president’s parents had lived in Virginia, their marriage would have been unlawful. Doesn’t that indicate there’s been quite a change in our understanding of what people are entitled to marry? Couldn’t an argument be made that there’s been a similar evolution with respect to same-sex marriage?”
— U.S. District Court Judge Vaughn Walker, referring to the fact that President Barack Obama’s mother was white and his father was African American, when Charles Cooper, the lead attorney for the Yes on 8 team, noted that Obama has also expressed opposition to same-sex marriages.
I’m sorry for my unannounced hiatus. Although this is an excuse to me it seems somewhat valid, I cannot for the life of me keep up with a written journal and an online journal at the same time. Don’t ask me why this is because I fail to answer. However, I’m here now, and I’ve got a lot to talk about (sort of).
Yesterday was my first day of school back at UTSA. I met up with a few friends, and we were having a nice lunch in the library food court (don’t ask, UTSA is just weird). All of a sudden from around the bend guess who walks by (Well, I dunno Katie, WHO?)?! SHAY. Of all the people to see on the first day back it just HAD to be her. Oh this story gets better: Not only did I casually see her, but I made the most AWKWARD eye contact. Telling a story and making painful eye contact only covers about two thirds of this encounter. Walking past my table the table conveniently got quiet and eerie.
Most awkward situation of the day, hands down.
I just looked at her facebook (even though I have de-friended her), and I can’t remember why I even thought something would work.
“Does anything in nature despair except man? An animal with a foot caught in a trap does not seem to despair. It is too busy trying to survive. It is all closed in, to a kind of still, intense waiting. Is this a key? Keep busy with survival. Imitate the trees. Learn to lose in order to recover, and remember that nothing stays the same for long, not even pain, psychic pain. Sit it out. Let it all pass. Let it go.”
We were SO impressed with Lara and Gwen, the photographers for our fashion show from Pink Apple Photography that we wanted to announce an event they have planned just in time for Valentine’s Day!
On January 17th, Pink Apple Photography will be holding a one day, Boudoir Photography marathon at the Indigo Hotel on the northside of Indy. Make yourself SEXY, or let them make you sexy, and come out and visit for a one hour boudoir photography session…for you, her, him, both…or all of you!
Men, women, gay, straight, whatever…everyone is welcome!
For more information, visit Pink Apple Photography’s website.
Eyes Open, We’re Watching!
I don’t understand the concept of streaming apparently. I think of streaming of something that you can watch simultaneously as you’re connected to an off-site server. It does not involve buffering and waiting and buffering and waiting. I don’t know where the problem is when it comes to streaming on my computer, but on sites like Hulu and Comedy Central and others I have to buffer and it’s choppy, and it doesn’t stream. It doesn’t flow like a river or a stream. My video trickles. This happens all the time with Netflix shows too.
It’s good news that “The Vampire Diaries” was awarded the best new drama program People’s Choice award. What this means is that it won’t vanish right away. Some shows vanish, like “The Beautiful Life” that vanished after two episodes. Two. And the CW in all their infinite wisdom elected to leave pure unadulterated crap like “Melrose Place” on the air. True, I have a “I Watch Melrose Place” t-shirt that the CW gave me, but it was free. I should put an X through the I watch part to say I don’t watch.
I did watch “Dirty Dancing” today. It had been years since I’d seen it, and what a joy it was to see Patrick Swayze, young, happy, healthy, dancing. It’s sweet. It’s romantic. “No one puts baby in a corner.” – great line.
Ellen was wearing a white long sleeved shirt and a black vest with jeans today. She makes me giddy, watching her dance on her show, like a silly 50 year old woman. Right. I know. She’s with Portia.
We went to the laundromat today, a necessary evil. It was cold cold cold. People walking up and down Central were bundled up. A mother at the laundromat was letting her child play with a toy car on the floor. I wouldn’t let a child play with a car on a laundromat floor.
I went to the Post Office to mail a package and when I got there, I was first in line, but, I had to fill out a customs ticket. While I was filling it out, someone came in to talk to the person behind the counter, the one person, and the next thing I knew there were 10 people in line.
I didn’t remember that John Lithgow was in “Footloose”! I think it’s time to revisit.
On “Family Guy” they made an obscure reference to the episode of “Star Trek Next Generation” when Picard learned how to play the flute in an alternate universe, where he had a family. I loved that episode. It made me cry every time. “Family Guy” is disturbing in almost every way, and I used to hate it, but now I love it, and the bit with Dwayne Johnson doing his interpretation of Lois and Peter making love? Priceless.
Sorry I have been away for a bit. Vacation, holidays…etc. Now on a new workout schedule. Whew! No time for blogging. I will try to pick it back up again once the sting in my burning calf muscles subsides.
In the meantime, keep your fingers crossed for NJ. They have civil unions, but not marriage. Separate but equal is still not equal.
NJ Gay Marriage: Do or Die Vote | NBC Philadelphia
When I was an intern at a professional theatre in Cincinnati, Ohio, back in the 1990’s, I was cast in a four-woman play as a bi-curious woman named Renee. Opposite me – my theatre co-star – was a woman playing the role of a gay private detective with whom I end up having an affair.
I had never before (nor have I since) acted the part of a gay woman in a play, so this was going to be an adventure. I thought it would be easy, but I was wrong, at least at first.
Our director held a talk-fest with us to help us ease our way through our first kiss; a kind of getting-to-love-you conversation, as it were. It didn’t help for spit.
The top of Act Two begins with a wordless scene with just us two, on the floor of the stage in a soft spotlight. We kiss. And I run my hand down her body. Our getting-to-love-you conversation was all about that scene. That approximately 30-second scene! We talked for hours, and still we were awkward as hell when we first kissed.
Now, take into account the fact that my co-star actually was gay. You would think that that would help the situation, but no. She was awkward as I was. So much for easing into things.
*********
Fast forward a few weeks. The play has gone up (meaning, for the newbies, that the play has opened and is running). We’re standing behind a part of the set, waiting to enter in the dark between scenes and get under the covers of an onstage bed where we will hide until our scene is lit, at which point we will be sitting there in the bed as though we have been there all night.
Standing behind me in the dark is my co-star. We have done the play now about three times – stood behind this flat waiting for our entrance now about three times. And suddenly, to my instant alarm, in my ear my onstage lesbian lover whispers, “I love how you smell when you sweat.”
???
Uh…first of all: what am I supposed to say???, is what I’m thinking. And then I’m thinking, holy God, we’re about to go on stage, you idiot! Why are you talking to me about personal stuff???
I was so glad to get that light cue that got me out on that stage! Christ Almighty!
Nowhere else in my life have I found stories to equal the ones that I gather in live theatre.
********
Well, here I go again. I’m off to San Francisco on Tuesday afternoon to audition for another lesbian role as well as a straight one! They want me to audition for both roles because they see me as possible in either one. Well, in that long-ago play, all of the women but me were gay. And I spent weeks listening to these women put straight women down – an interesting upside-down kind of bigotry, if you will.
The roles I’m reading for are (1) the straight woman who plays with the affections of the gay lead, or, (2) the gay writer who reads like Bette Davis as a lesbian.
So, if I get cast, and if the cast is all gay, and if I have to spend all of my time in a heterosexual closet, I think this is what I’ll do: If I get cast as the Bette Davis-ish lesbian, I’ll just stay in character and kick ass if someone puts me down for not declaring myself gay. Or maybe I’ll just walk up behind someone in the dark, just before the lights come up, and whisper, “I love how you smell when you sweat.”
Well California now there’s another state for us to be jealous of. As of the new year New Hampshire became the 5th state to legalize gay marriage. So congratulate our blue-state brethren and don’t feel too bad. There’s about a million different movements to repeal Prop 8 here in California, so assuming they can ever get their act together we should all be able to get gay married by 2012.
I am not sure what to call this article…
, we have labeled lesbians by so much more than just their sexual orientation. At first it was just creating different names for the word “lesbian”. Dyke, lesbo, rug muncher, carpet eater, pussy licker, pillow princess, etc. Some derogatory, most just humorous. What gets me going is the hypocrisy within the community. We are supposed to be united to fight the bigotry and the hate from the “hetero world”. Though lately it seems that the straight folks have been coming to our aid more so than our fellow dykes. I think we put too much thought into what other people think. So much so, that all that’s left is anger redirected at each other.
