The second day of my second attempt to induce lactation. i chose a neat front fastening white bra with shoe-string straps that i “stole” from my Wife years ago when She outgrew it. i love this bra for it is great under a tee-shirt and shapes my breasts nicely. i chose a pair of white striped “boy-leg” panties with lace trim to go with the bra. i was not alone at work today so my underwear had to remain hidden beneath my male outer clothes. The presence of others around the office made nipple stimulation with the breast pump a little difficult also. my wife was at work though, and so the house was empty. i used the breast pump first thing after my wife had left for work and again when i made an excuse to go over to the house mid-morning and later at lunch time. i needed to go to the shops during the afternoon so took another opportunity to use the breast pump then. Once everyone had gone home, i was able to use the pump in the office, away from my wife who returned home as my workers left. All has to be very secretive. At least the domperidone can be easily taken. i decided today that i would take one every 3 hours making it 60mg during the day.
The breast pump really does make me horny. i just adore the sensation of my nipples being suckled and they send signals down to my genitalia as if they were hot-wired together. i know that inducing lactation is a major goal of mine but it will come at the price of becoming increasingly aroused with no hope of release due to my CB-2000 chastity device.
While i was out at the shops, i saw a pair of ladies reading glasses in a deep pastel pink colour on offer in a local store. The magnification was the same as my existing glasses and i could not resist the temptation – a bargain at just $6. i shall now be able to clean Mistress’ house without having to resort to my male glasses or my old pair of ladies glasses that do not hold together well and keep sliding off my nose.
Still no sign of Mistress Ana but had more emails today from Goddess Joyce – She has moved house which is why i had not heard from Her for a while – She has been busy packing, moving and unpacking. Hopefully She will soon be settled.
i added another of my Experiences to Experience Project today.
On: “I want to swap bodies”
There is absolutely nothing wrong with my body in terms of its health and fitness apart from the fact that i am imprisoned in it. i have come to accept and live within my male body over the years even though i hate it. i am undeniably female in my innermost self, i cry at movies and tend to get quite emotional over even relatively small issues. i can multi-task like most women and very few men and dislike male attitudes and macho behaviour even though i have had to grow up adopting such an outward appearance for my own protection, hiding my femininity beneath a macho male veneer. i have always preferred the company of girls and women, am interested in fashion, enjoy sewing, knitting, cooking and even household chores like cleaning, laundry and ironing i find acceptable. i do of course wear women’s clothes whenever i can and have an extensive wardrobe and footwear collection, i love shopping for clothes, even to the point of trying on women’s clothes and shoes before buying whether i am dressed as a male or female. But i am stuck with my male body and do sincerely wish i could swap it for a female one.
Many men ogle women and i confess i admire women with good figures but not from a sexual desire point of view like other men, i look at them in full admiration of their figure and pure jealousy, i want their body in exchange for mine. How frustrating it is to read of or see butch lesbian ladies desperately changing their figure and growing facial hair to be more masculine while i am doing the exact opposite. Oh wouldn’t it be wonderful if there were such a thing as a body exchange where these unfortunate males trapped in female bodies could swap with women like me who are stuck inside a male body they do not want? i read years ago of a husband and wife who both had gender reassignment, he becoming she and vice-versa so that they remained married and a couple but each finally found peace of mind in the body suited to their mindset or psyche. It was a wonderful article and it made me cry, tears of joy for the couple and of sadness for my ongoing dilemma.
i have dreamed that one day i am involved in a car crash in which my own body dies but not my brain whereas the other crash victim is a woman who’s brain dies but not her body and when i wake up from the nightmare crash and my nightmare life before it, i find that she has donated her body to me and that i have at last got the female body i have always wanted. The sad thing is that she would have to die; a body swap with a woman that wanted to be a man would be oh so much better and a win-win all round. Why can’t someone establish a sort of clearing house that will match people who wish to change sex so that they effectively do swap bodies?
Also, i came across a terrific lingerie sale on Ideeli and fell in love with this matching set of lingerie – i think it looks just gorgeous. They have it in other colours too!
Finally, on finishing work, i cooked dinner, did the dishes, finished the ironing and then helped my wife undress before returning to my office to have one more session on the breast pump and tidy up loose ends, always in the hope that Mistress Ana may just happen to be on line. Sadly not and i shall go to bed once again thinking anxiously of Her and hoping all is well with Her.
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