I left my Politics of Gay Families class today pretty upset. It was one of the first times where I felt like the minority, and it was one of the first times where I felt that shutting up was probably my best option.
We had an assignment where we had to review several different websites, some which were pro-GLBT and some which were anti-GLBT. Almost all of the anti-GLBT websites were supported by “Pro-Family” Conservative Evangelical Christian organizations. As I sat in the class, people snickered and generalized (can you tell I live in New England?) as we went through the websites. Some people made it seem like Christians believe that exorcisms are necessary to “fix” people who are Gay. The teacher asked a student to open her phone and dial a help-line from an anti-GLBT website to try and find a counselor from Connecticut. The class was thrilled with the prospect and sat grinning while the girl talked to the guy on the other side of the line.Fortunately the man on the other end of the line wasn’t hired for his conversational skills and stuck with his job of connecting people with therapists. The class snowballed and I sat rather stone-faced.
It wasn’t that I disagreed with the general class sentiment towards the outlandish ideas proposed by these websites, it was that they were sneering in the same way that the conservatives were sneering at them. Everyone’s walking around with their fists up, trying to make the “other side” (as if there are only two sides) seem mad. I suppose I should have expected this, but it was frustrating nonetheless and I found myself facing what I am sure many others have faced before- whether it was a gay man facing an angry judgmental church, or a loving Christian facing a hornet’s nest of upset intolerant GLBT folks.
Fittingly, I sat down this afternoon and my friend at Faith Autopsy posted a link to an article on another perspective on homosexuality. In the 11 pages, we are taken through a journey (reminiscent of Andrew Marin’s book) that essentially says the traditionalist and open/affirming churches are both getting it wrong. The traditionalist churches are not providing room or guidance to GLBT people who wish to pursue celibacy and instead have been offering false solutions that cover up deep issues. The open/affirming churches are raising their voices but are not providing the guidance that helps any couple live in a God honoring relationship. I am not condoning either approach, and I wish to remain unlabeled for now- because I find labels (conservative, liberal, traditional, etc.) extremely limiting and inhibiting. But I will say that the paper mentioned above was well written and had many valid points which any one interested in this topic should take the time to think about and chew on.
The kicker is that I can’t avoid this conversation, even if I wanted to. Ashley and I are headed to Northampton where we’ll be facing things like this by default. We want to face it, but sometimes I just shrink down in my chair and wish things were just black and white. The reality is that I still have a lot of questions, and I don’t want a lot of answers. I want a few answers that are true, and I know that it will take time to find them. While I sit in between two hoards of people throwing stones at each other, I can only say that I agree with the small voice of those who say that conversation and discussion are vital for unity- a central desire and prayer of Jesus. Simply put, we can’t beat around uncomfortable ideas and we can’t beat the people who don’t agree with us. We have to talk, listen, and explore- all the while speaking and serving one another in love and humility.
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