curious?

curious?

I love women. I have said it before, but I have known I prefer women since I was four years old. yes… I’ve had sexual relationships with men. if you have read any of my erotica, it should be obvious I have no sexual hang-ups or insecurities. I am human. But make NO mistake…I do not apologize nor have any shame that I… love WOMEN. and like a moth to a flame, i attract them. Since I was 12, preteens, to grown women have found me… “absolutely adorable!” [chuckle] it’s cute… at first…

straight woman… yes you… I’m curious… why are you here? I am very in tune with one’s sexuality, and it amazes me how many “straight” women come on to me. I smell their phermones when they hug me… i see what they eyes say as they sit across from me on the Metro Rail… i hear it in their voice when they say “you make the best white mocha / passion fruit tea / caramel macchito / in the world”.

it can be awkward. I’m “prince” shy.

I’m not one to make the first move.

I was an only child for seven years, so I play really well by myself, so I’m not one for idle chit-chatter or entertainment. so eventually one of “you” [no hate...I've learned to embrace] curious…bi…”new” lesbians come into my life… or some other “versatile” womyn’s life, and turn it upside down and inside out. I don’t think you mean to. shit happens.

some of you just want the sex…the touch of a woman…I respect that, but please note, just cause I’m a lesbian doesn’t mean I’m attracted to ALL women. and if you are having sex with a man on a regular basis…that’s an INSTANT turn-off. I’m not “curious”

some of you are these “Femme for Femmes” and that’s cool. but you are the ones befriending our wives and messing up healthy households because you are… “curious”

some of you are really lesbian, and on the DL. you just can’t seem to accept it…and prefer to use the “I’m Me…I’m Private…I Don’t Need Nobody In My Business” psuedo lesbian in the closet cliche. and we lesbians might entertain you for a moment. we are women. emotional. hopeless romantics. we have been there. we understand the struggles. but the moment you start “loving” us & vice versa, you gon’ have to come out Babygirl… I can’t live a lie for you. that’s not fair to me, you, or the bond we’re building. if you say you are down…make sure you know how low you are willing to go. cause it can be lonely coming out that closet, depending on your friends and family’s

reactions. and then you cling to me and suck the life out of me… but I don’t mind… at first… but eventually the honeymoon ends Babygirl and we both had lives before we met. let’s not EVER forget that! k?

i know… you may have had these feelings ALL your life, but never did anything. you used to play house with your lil playmates…maybe your cousins.

you have sex with men and well…you hardly ever have an orgasm…if at all. that brother just ain’t ihitting…licking…it “right”. he doesn’t take you out. he doesn’t read. he’s become a bore. he don’t do shit. he’s not spontaneous. he doesn’t want yo’ travel, and traveling ain’t going to Dallas. and even if he’s the love of your life and you are his wife… you see someone like me, and instantly it just doesn’t matter. you are… “curious”

they say curiosity killed the cat. and in my youth… I did that. however…today I’m on the “life-partner let’s pick out funeral plot shit” because…that’s what people do when they are in a committed relationship. and though I’m just as “curious” as you are… to explore you… get to know you… possibly… well you know…you… you need to know that we… lesbians… are women just like you. don’t play the games. just keep it real from jump, and proceed with caution. we… well I DO NOT specifically “target” you. we are not always trying to “turn you out” if we ask you for lunch or take an interest in who you are. if I invite you to an art show, a jazz club, or for a walk in the park…don’t assume I’m trying to get you to hop fences. can I just be your friend sometimes? honestly… you are the ones who turn a perfectly good friendship into an ugly love affair all because you were “curious.”.

I repeat… I am a woman like YOU. so SHOULD we begin to date…I’m not the “man”. I pay sometime… you pay sometime. I drive sometime. You drive sometime. I like flowers, edible memories, cards, letters, poems, surprise trinkets and gifts… too. that shit you was doing for ya man… yeah… I’m gon’ need some of that too.

and if you say you’re independent and don’t need anything from me…well don’t ask me/expect for too much later. say what you mean and mean what you say. I’m your “girl”… we should be able to talk and keep it real. I’m a woman like you… I got my shit and my priorities… too. respect that… because dating a woman is no different from dating a man. the only difference is the stigma.

relationships are relationships. we all have the same issues. both hetero-sexual and homo-sexual couples fight about the SAME shit… “quality time spent”, “money issues”. “and “commitment/monogamy/infidelity” issues. either I’m not spending enough time with you… I ain’t got not money…

or I think you cheating or you think I’m cheating on you. PERIOD. and since I tend to be a “magnet” for you beautiful “curious” women…I had to let you know what’s up… hence these words.

in addition….I am well aware of my “curious” “supporters.” I get the emails, and messages and I’m flattered really.

Thank You for the kind words, donations, invitations. etc. all I ask is that you understand where I’m coming from. i embrace all women. and I am indeed a feminist. do I wish I could ____ every girl in the world… some days… yes, I do. but I live a different world. and you are always invited. just know what you want should you decide to… cum. around my way…

still curious?

I have one more chapter left to write for my novel… “Intimate Friends” I start editing immediately after. I’m currently selecting music for the soundtrack & audio version of the novel.

I meet with Lovie Olivia on the 1st to discuss the art direction. I have selected Sonya Carr, Marc Furi, & Arnea Williams for my photography needs. Levi will do the design and layout… and I’m almost close to deciding on the book printer. Lastly, Hopefully I haven’t pissed off my producer David too bad and he let’s me finish what I started…

October 2009 -Editing

November 2009 – Design/Layout

December 2009 – Galleys [advance copies] out to press, book reviewers, book clubs, retail & select bloggers.

January 2010 – The official release…

*school started…I wasn’t sure if I was going to sit this semester out to complete this…but decided to take a lighter load instead. I’m doing this all by myself with my family & friends…I have to be realistic…so be ready for 2KX… my team…my crew…are top-notch, and Houston is about to be on everyone’s tongue again…you can bet on that…

out like cassettes,

b